Did You Know That Appellant Takes Energy?

The appellant is a person who sees everything in shades of gray. Our modern lifestyle has become so demanding that at some point each of us will inevitably complain about our own problems. This is a natural reaction that allows us to relieve pressure during complex and difficult life situations. Sometimes, though – and you don’t realize it yourself – it eats up your energy.

It’s not a bad thing to feel empathy for friends who are going through hard times. But listening to people who complain about almost everything can be more harmful than you might imagine.

The most disturbing thing about this is that this kind of behavior can become so toxic and manipulative that you start to consider yourself insensitive or selfish because you no longer want to be your friend’s support.

For this reason, it is important to learn to identify chronic complainants and understand the impact of their negativity on your own life.

Such is the appellant

The appellant denies the life he lives. He always strives to appear like a victim by complaining about what he has or doesn’t have. Above all, he never does anything to change the things that torment him.

At first, this may seem normal. Over time, however, you will realize that his complaints are not the result of a difficult life situation, but of a way that is already part of his lifestyle.

It is either a form of conscious or unconscious manipulation. During it, the appellant tries to arouse guilt, compassion, or solidarity to avoid having to take responsibility for his own life.

Suddenly, you begin to feel as if it is your responsibility to solve his problem, or at least to be there every moment to support him in drying tears.

Living with appellants – consequences

People who always complain are so negative that you may suddenly start to feel like you are carrying a much more burden than you should be.

Even if you have the ability to advise or help the appellant, being with people like him takes a lot of your energy.

You may have a hard time seeing this, but this will cause changes in your brain that are the result of the feelings that another person’s life situation is causing you.

Emotions such as frustration, guilt, and sadness alter the functions of the brain that release hormones. This increases the risk to:

• Mental instability
• Difficulty solving problems
• Decreased ability to concentrate
• Negative thoughts

How to face the appellant?

Everything in life doesn’t always go the way you planned. After all, we all have to face challenges that we did not want or could not have expected.

However, it is useless to get stuck in frustration and bitterness. This kind of attitude prevents you from surviving and moving forward. The energy spent on complaining should be directed to overcoming situations that seem to be obstacles.

For this reason, it is not only important not to become a chronic appellant yourself, but also to understand that you are not required to listen to those who already are.

You can’t pretend to be able to solve other people’s problems when you need energy to take care of your own affairs.

So what can you do?

1. Take the distance

Whenever possible, try to avoid such people as they will only try to manipulate you.

The less you pay attention to them, the sooner you realize you don’t have to waste energy listening to their negative thoughts.

2. Make it clear to them that their problems are not the business of others

However, if you listen to their complaint, make it clear to them that they are having problems due to their own way of thinking.

Most importantly, make sure the situation doesn’t start to affect you, and encourage them to solve their own problems on their own.

3. Do not show weakness

Appellants have demonstrated their ability to manipulate others with their negative attitudes. That’s why it’s very important to keep a shield to show that you don’t want to help them with every single problem that comes up.

While empathy can’t always be avoided, try to manage the situation so you don’t feel the need to help when the problem doesn’t concern you.

4. Set the boundaries

Finally, remember that you have the right to demand that another person not complain and not share your concerns with you. If you can’t listen to her negative thoughts anymore, tell her you don’t like it and don’t want to be her shoulder to cry against.

Do you have a friend or relative who constantly complains? It’s time to act! Avoid dancing to his whistle. Otherwise, at some point you will start to feel that his negativity will also affect your own life.