Building Self-esteem After A Divorce

If the relationship has been long or toxic, or if it has not ended in agreement by both, it is likely that self-esteem may be in the country after the separation. Because of this, rebuilding your self-esteem takes some time.

Building self-esteem after separation

First and foremost, it is important to understand what self-esteem is, as this is a term that everyone has certainly heard. Dictionaries specializing in psychology often define self-esteem as the assessment we give to ourselves.

In other words, it encompasses all the perceptions, feelings, thoughts, and evaluations we constantly make about ourselves. Indeed, some studies have shown that:

If we do not have good self-esteem, we cannot live in a balanced emotional state, for the first step to achieving this is the ability to accept ourselves just as we are.

How do I know that being separated from a partner has affected my self-esteem?

When a relationship ends, many may face a situation that leads to emotional anxiety. But this doesn’t have to mean that everything in our lives is over. In addition, it is good to be able to identify whether the conflict is a temporary relationship crisis or whether it is a final separation from a partner.

If a relationship is to end, we need to be able to understand that all the love we need is found in ourselves, even though at the same time we tend to look for it outside. This is actually one of the biggest mistakes we can make after the difference.

Jill Weber, a U.S. doctor of psychology, says it’s normal to feel confusion, sadness, or anger about a separation while we’re crying about the loss of a partner. At the end of the relationship, however, no one should punish, stigmatize, or blame themselves, for we have all lived and gone through such circumstances. It is only worth remembering that these circumstances should not define what we as human beings are like.

On the contrary, even if a person so important to us is no longer close to us, life will always go on, we must learn from it, grow as human beings, and continue on our own path. If you feel that one or more of the things listed below define you even somewhat, the difference from a partner is likely to have affected your life and now is the time to make a change.

Signs of low self-esteem

• The feeling that life has lost its meaning because a person so dear before is no longer involved in your life.
• You feel ugly every time you look at yourself in the mirror and you may not even be able to think that someone else could ever fall in love with you.
• You think your former partner was perfect and just the one and right for you in the whole universe.
• You start to see your former partner as a benchmark against all the new acquaintances and people you know.
• You no longer want or can take care of your appearance.
• You no longer feel enthusiastic about anything, you find no motivation, and you are no longer interested in the same activities you loved before.
• You feel that the pain doesn’t let you think clearly.
• You feel guilty about  many things, blame yourself, and think that if you had acted differently in those and these situations, that person might still be by your side.

If you feel that you can see any of these things in yourself, you need to be able to understand that it is also possible to enjoy solitude and your own company. Indeed, true love is born just when we find ourselves and learn to love and respect ourselves.

Building self-esteem after a difference is a process that happens step by step

Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for recovering from partner loss and separation that would heal mental scars in an instant. Recovering from separation and building a shattered self-esteem always takes time, and the process can be long and difficult. In the end, however, the results will be incredible, for the love you will come to feel for yourself after this experience will be much greater. It takes time to build post-separation self-esteem, but it can be possible with the following recommendations:

Keep in mind

• Live and get out of all the post-separation negative emotions you may possibly experience, be they anger, sadness, disappointment, or anxiety. Don’t stifle your feelings. It is better to open your worries to a trustworthy and close person instead of closing them deep inside you.
• Don’t avoid the situation and your feelings, but strive to live and experience them. This is the best way to turn sore wounds into light that will lead you towards a new life. After this process, you will be the only protagonist of your life.
• After that, you realize that your life doesn’t depend on that person, and your life shouldn’t revolve around him or her. These are two different people, two individuals, and each in their own world, where both you and your former partner should be able to live their lives, taking advantage of all the potential that life has to offer you.
• Build new routines in your life and break the old and withered habits you used to do with your ex-partner.
• Start looking for happiness from within. Happiness lives in you, not in someone else’s life. Nourishing love for ourselves is an important step toward the moment when we can see our own values ​​and understand why our place was not in those situations, with those toxic people.
• Prevent mental wear and tear by avoiding talking about your former partner and everything that happened between you. At first, it’s great to let the fumes out, but the next step is to get your attention back to yourself. Only in this way can you build your self-esteem and make yourself the most important person in your life again.
• Take care of yourself, love yourself and take care of your appearance. Look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are. Learn to appreciate your beauty with your own eyes, not through someone else’s eyes.
• Take care of your physical and mental health. Turning to a psychologist can prove to be an effective tool if you are looking for follow-up and want to re-develop all the activities you previously loved so much.
• Surround yourself with positive things and people. Forget for a moment about too emotional or sad songs, books, and movies about your life, and seek out happy and happy things.

Finally

If you love and appreciate yourself, you will find that there are aspects of you that you didn’t even know there were as well as things that you didn’t even imagine doing. Now you know that with a strong self-esteem you can achieve everything you have always wanted.